i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
