11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
