i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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