I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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