Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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