You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
