That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
