I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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