I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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