Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i would punch a child for taco bell
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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