PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
