while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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