Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
