Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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