9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
