and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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