i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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