So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
