can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He did a backflip because drugs
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