Kiss
Puke
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
