guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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