theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize