I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
