apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize