How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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