i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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