i just had sex bonerless
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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