Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
