Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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