well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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