I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
