Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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