Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
