Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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