brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
