is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
