last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
