Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
