I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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