Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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