Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
