haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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