I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
