you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
