How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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