Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
