oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
