i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize