how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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