Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize