I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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