i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
