you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
