hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
whose parrot is this?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
