Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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