he shaved USA in his pubs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
