i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
