I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
