its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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