can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.