Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car