I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked