is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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