I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
