worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
