We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
